A Long Pause

I've been getting attached to our letters, yearning for another glimpse into who he is, but I think I'm beginning to accept that Beauty Eyes is pulling away from this. I never expected that he would last as long as he has, given his stated apprehension at the onset of our rekindled friendship. Each day I look forward to the possibility of receiving an email from him, and each day my hopes are eaten away bit by bit. I realize now, in his long absence, how very fond I have been of this reconnection that we established. It saddens me and frightens me at the same time.

It seems I think of him on a daily basis; that is, at least once in the day my mind meanders to thoughts of him or I am reminded of him by some random connection in my brain. When thoughts of his profession enter my head, I think of him. When hearing or reading about his city, I think of him. When thinking about my fun evenings out, I think of him. The image of his eyes, his lips, his face as a whole... that image is burnished into the tissues of my third eye. I have a recurring vision of my breast just barely grazing against his soft, luscious mouth -- the contrast of my hard, erect nipple brushing against his supple lip always evokes shivers rippling across my skin.

To feel so full of passion and yet stark raving hungry for it is unlike any other emotion I have ever felt. And I am devotedly addicted to it.

I should let Beauty Eyes slip away. He wants me to let him slip away. I know it in my core. And yet my spirit does not want to allow it. I want to feel the cling of his arms wrapped around my waist once more. I want to hear him whisper those sounds of pure ecstasy again. I want to smell his scent and feel him tug at my hair, putting my face at the perfect angle to receive his kiss.

I truly miss him.