Scrubs

-- the tv show that I've begun watching. The main character, JD, (played by Zach Braff) keeps reminding me of BeautyEyes. I'm totally addicted to the show these days, and I'm now quite enamored with this guy, if only because he so reminds me of BeautyEyes. It's not necessarily that they look alike, (though in a way, they really do -- just imagine brown skin and grey eyes, though just as striking) but there's some hint of personality similarity, maybe it's the nerdiness? which I absolutely adore, by the way. This might very well be the first time that I've actually had a celebrity crush... the first time I've ever had any genuine curiosity about getting to know an actor, on a personal level. I'm finding it rather strange, really. I've felt that way about authors, but I think the nature of acting and celebritizing forces automatic walls between us and them, versus a pulling force of mental attraction that comes along with writers.

Anyway, I should probably stop watching the show because it's just pulling me down deeper into my depraved cyclone of obsession. I'm really trying to stop thinking about BeautyEyes because I know our situation is absolutely impossible, and I most likely will never get another weekend with him ever. After I sent him a drunken email, I realized how close to the edge I am with this guy, and the teetering is doing no good whatsoever.

On another front completely: I started a new job today and I'm surrounded for the first time by men who are happily involved with their wives/fiancees. No divorced sense of alienation, no sex-hungry single boys, just men who are (at least outwardly) satisfied with their women. THAT is strange in my profession. How ironic then, that one of these men I find absolutely stunning. Once again, the eyes! This guy brings back memories for me of my girlhood fantasies of who I would want to marry. Dark brown hair, chiseled features, BRIGHT blue eyes, and he's a brit to boot! Witty, and sarcastic as hell with a bite on the end of every statement. Dare I say, hot? I don't work with him directly, so I can't really stare at him for long periods of time given we don't hold very long conversations. But when I can steal the time when he's not looking, I'm amazed at how fucking handsome he is. Nothing like a workplace crush to make the hours go by pleasantly...