Nightside Jonny

As of late, I've been really getting into this blog, ever since I've become interested in this whole affair business. NJ, as he likes to call his alterior, cheating identity, has been the BEST piece of anonymous, adulterous, blogging ass that I've come across. His writing/thinking/style seems parallel to my own (in fact, we even use the same blog template... which isn't that much a surprise since black=sin, but still!), and he offers the exact type of social critique as it pertains to monogamy as I've always felt & wholeheartedly believed, but never had the courage to extol "in real life". Only since I've began writing anonymously have I felt so free to do so.

I'm loving the NJ blog so fiercely that I'm deliberately reading through the archives slowly. I don't want to run out of material too soon, lest it all be over, and then how will I fulfill my desires for intelligent, edgy, sexy, informative & introspective blog writing that deals with infidelity? I'm convinced he's the only one still out there.

Here's one quote that NJ wrote after lamenting his sexless marriage:

That's the worst thing about modern monogamy. If you stay faithful, you've basically handed the other person control of your sexuality. If they want to make you celibate, they can, and your only say in the matter is to divorce or cheat. What kind of fucked-up moron came up with that as the 'ideal' relationship?

How true. I've always believed that when an individual in an intimate partnership realises that they're not interested in maintaining a sexual relationship with their partner anymore that they should fess up and give all their blessings for the de-sexed partner to go find it elsewhere & have fun doing so -- I mean, if I get tired/bored/too busy to continue, say playing tennis with my partner, wouldn't I still want him to go out and play tennis with someone who wants to? In fact, wouldn't I rather that happen so I don't have to do it, and he can still enjoy himself? I just don't understand why sex has to be any different.

Sure, jealousy comes into play a little bit easier, faster and more intense, when you start categorizing sex as "just an activity", but I believe that's due to this social construct that surrounds this concept of marriage, faithfulness and fidelity. That's what gets drilled into our heads from childhood bridal fantasies to mother-goddess-as-end-all ideal that no woman can ever completely embody. So infidelity then becomes all about "what's wrong with me?" and "what does your OP offer that I can't give?", which then makes it a competition. But that's such a misleading knee-jerk reaction that just ends miserably. When instead, it should be about celebrating diversity and being joyous in the fact that we can wander off to enjoy all variety of life, and still we come home for all those things we do cherish in this person we've made some kind of commitment to. Why is that such a difficult concept?