Work, Sex & Miscellanea

Concerning the issue of my failed getaway, I have good reason to believe that M was swept away against his will (at least, partially). One of the conditions behind our making plans to get together for our first full evening together depended solely on his ability to finagle his way out of a family vacation this week. The idea was that the wife and kids would be gone all week and we'd have our time to play. Seeing as how he didn't show up to work yesterday or today, my guess is he wasn't skilled enough to convince the wife that it was in their best interest for him to stay. C'est la vie. At least I know he hasn't backed out because of his own inhibitions.

It sucks that he'll be gone all week, especially if today is any example of how the rest of the week will go. It's a good thing I'm a woman because I swear if I were a guy, I'd have to hide in the bathroom all day long in order to conceal my hard on. (I don't know how you boys do it.) It's bad enough that my nipples get really hard and push through my bra and shirts. But today I've found that just the motion of walking around is making me cream my pants. (And my job demands that I walk around all day long.) It's just hell, not being able to do anything about it. And then not being able to see my M at work for a whole week, to boot. Boy this is rough!

On a brighter note, it seems my other co-workers are picking up on the sexuality I seem to be exuding. (And honestly, I'm really not trying! If you knew what type of clothes I wear to work, you'd know this.) This morning, one particular person I fantasized about months ago put his arm around my shoulder when saying "good morning". Though this may seem a trivial matter, or just a friendly gesture on his part, it's actually quite a bold action, considering the environment in which I work.

Without getting into too many details, let's just say I work in a male-dominated environment and I am one of a handful of ladies who does this work we do. So every friendly gesture is always noticed. Now I, being the woman in this litigious sexual-harassment happy society, am permitted to be friendly while men must behave appropriately and refrain from sexual comments or any behavior that could possibly be deemed as harassment. Given that I am indeed friendly, and even a tad bit flirtatious, I welcome similar social responses. It's probably not the most "professional" thing to do, but I just can't take life so seriously, as to not have some fun whilst at work.

My H said that I should try not to flirt so much at work -- not for his benefit -- but because "it's just not good to have people seeing you in only a sexual manner. It's problematic." My response to that was that it only seems problematic in male-dominated work environments, and is only actually problematic in power-tainted work relationships. When amidst peers of both sexes, friendly flirtation happens all the time, and nothing is thought of it. Alcohol may be the "social lubricant" but I think flirting just may be the "workplace lubricant".

All in all, I'm quite happy with how my situation at work is developing. Despite breaking that golden "shitting where you eat" rule, I enjoy the sexuality that I feel there. And with the confirmation I just had about M's disappearance -- I'm once again hopeful for an exciting romp with him sometime in the future. (God, I'm such a sucker!) It may be a while coming, but as long as the possibility still exists, I'll be heartily awaiting that happy day.

In other news: I recently got in contact with a "buddy" from the the past. He updated me briefly that he's now married, and we've arranged a get together after work next week to catch up. Mind you, the last time I saw him we were cuddling on his couch as I was telling him that I was getting married. You see, my "buddy" (let's call him B) knew me during the peak of my Bachelorette, free-loving, crazy-partying days. This was a time when I was guiltlessly playing the field, making absolutely no commitments to anyone, and openly living a life of pure pleasure-fulfillment. So I guess you could say we're old flames, sort of. We never slept together, though we both wanted to... it just never worked out that way. And over the past few years we've just lost contact a bit. The interesting thing about B is that he was one of the few people who was wholeheartedly intrigued about my philosophy on open relationships. I think many of the men in my life during that time who agreed to non-commited status were just doing so because that was the only way they'd maintain their hall-pass into my bed. I think deep down they hoped and prayed that I would, after everything, choose them to sire my children. I guess in a way that did happen, since it was during this very episode that I met H -- the man I did decide to spend my life with, though I'm not sure how much siring will actually happen. Anyway, it should be interesting to see B again. I wonder if the chemistry is still there... I'll probably behave, since he is so recently married and all. And besides, juggling one possibly long-term affair is difficult enough, especially with how demanding of my time H is. I couldn't imagine if there was more than one at a time.