After Whirlwind or The Calm Between Two Storms

With current life-events, there has been pause in this adulterer's obsessive energies. Even though sex IS constantly on my mind, there has been little time available for much to do with it, considering such other [highly] demanding tasks that are of utmost importance. Life does go on.

And as life continues its forward-propelling motions, we are tumultuously thrown into it -- yes, we are thrown into life, tumbling along its chaotic path, the battles, the glories, the rolling hills of whatever it is she can gather to give at us, presenting us with a fight until the end. And on I shall fight, and on I shall go, and on I shall give, as best I can do.

Tonight I may be getting together with M; the prospects are viable. I've learned to settle down my insane desire to jump him every time I see him at work. I've recouped my composure -- my enjoyment of work itself has returned, aside from the slight chance I may see him. And the few times we've been able to steal a moment or two together have been... delicious. The sexual tension is high as ever, and boy does he know how to touch me! After having numerous experiences with numerous lovers, I realize that sexual chemistry between individuals has nothing to do with skill or know-how. Of course there are the basics -- how well you know your own body, for instance. And how confident one is, in carrying him/herself. But this is not about skill, per se, but rather comfort in one's capability for intimacy.

And what are the infinite ways in which two people, who are both confident within their skins, can relate sexually? I suppose this is where preferences come in... I've had varying experiences that ranged from: pleasant, exciting, demanding, different, empathetic, strange, frightening, joyous, transcendental, uplifting, humorous, jovial, etc. (the list could go on). These shared sexual experiences differed because of many factors, but one thing I can say for sure is that after the initial phase of sex-crazed insanity has worn off, the remaining sexual patterns have everything to do with preferences. And the resulting "compatibility" between partners depends even more on the two partner's preferences meshing.

I'd like to say that couples who are interested in maintaining a long-term love affair (be it marriage, partnership, extramarital, yada yada yada) should attempt to wean themselves off of personal preferences, thereby keeping an open attitude about various ways of pleasuring one another. But the fact remains that preferences do exist. And good old comfortable stuff keeps the boat-a-rockin. Which brings me back to my original point, (though somewhat tangentially) which is: Damn does M know how to touch me! Just thinking about his hands on my body brings shivers up my spine, and how fortuitous that his preferences mesh with my own.

I am taken back in time to my very first sexual experience -- the 10th grade. Funny, his name is also the same as M's. He was my first kiss, my first grope, my first handjob, and oh so important, my first fingering. He loved to do it, and hell yeah I loved to feel it. My time with this M feels very much like my first firsts. He likes to please. And the type of strength he uses on me is truly intoxicating. The combination between the two is jarring in such an exciting way... pleasuring me, giving to me, (inherently submissive) but with such force and assertiveness (willfully dominant) and together, I am hooked.

I'd like to write more about all the other chaos Life has thrown me, but I must go. It is a Friday night, after all.