In the wee land of sex bloggers, I've found some remarkably kind souls. From the profoundly fleshy, spirit-exposed posts to the supportive, understanding and encouraging comments that follow, I feel inextricably bound to the lot. I feel closer and more intimate with most of these people who write their stories for anyone to read, than with some of my own friends. I only wish I could reveal half of what I do here to them. But, as some recent comments on this blog have shown, these subjects are not to be taken lightly. Of course I know that my actions are unapproved by the majority of people. Of course I will have to suffer repercussions if my H found out about any of this. The biggest that I fear being his pain, his aching heart, and his true suffering. (Unlike "Emily's" shallow, empty, vengeful acts, which in and of themselves would be meaningless and pointless, if the whole thing wasn't fake.)
Strangely, I like being nipped at by these anonymous comments. It's a curious reaction I have: Ooh, a negative comment! *excitement* Hmm. Is it intelligently communicated? *disappointment* Okay, does the gist of their comment say anything remotely worthwhile? *glimmer of hope* Well, at least it gets me thinking about my next post. *on with my life*
Reading all these blogs and taking part in this community has me convinced that sex and other forms of intimacy really do make for better relationships between people... at least for those who can withstand its power. It's like a form of divinity that possesses you. In small doses, most people can handle its glory. But for the few who can maintain the earthly vessel for an energy so great, it can corrupt, if not respected. Like any other form of power, it should be checked. Thus, I revel in my negative comments. It keeps me human. And, I am human, afterall.
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6 comments:
you should not restrict your posts based on what anonymous negative comments read. however, i can understand if you feel you need to pull back. i am quite curious about your activities, feelings and thoughts.
i applaud you for sticking in there and not letting negative feedback from cowards drag you down.
i can say there is a difference between love and sex. just because a handful of people can not grasp that concept...too bad for them.
it is a shame that people are confined to these boundaries in life because their mommy told them that. life may have some moral rules, but we are all human and with that comes human error.
we are all not perfect, but human. judge no one (glaring at those cowards).
all i can say is that i am inspired and thank you!
I don't think you should restrict anything either. Granted - I found this blog through the fake Emily blog (which I kind of figured was fake based just on how easily "she" is managing to pull all of this stuff off to begin with", be real...by now she would have been confronted as being out of her mind for real), but I am taking my time going back to read through everything. I am in a very similar situation, and it makes me feel better to know someone else is out there. Hell, I even copy and paste some of your writing and send it to him in emails - told him when I read this, I feel like Im in my own head looking down at my own thoughts.
today - And thanks to our [new?] Anonymous commentor who's trying to scare me with lackluster threats. Though most of me believes the chances of this are insignificant, there is some tiny speck of "hmm... perhaps..." Whatever the case, it's not in my control. So I'll roll with the punches. Topic for yet another post... "what if?"
yesterday - The biggest that I fear being his pain, his aching heart, and his true suffering.
It's odd that you can write these two things and not see an inherent contradiction to them. It says a myriad of things about you personally.
You're biggest fear is hurting your husband. Yet you cheat with multiple partners and have a blog that basically celebrates his cuckoldry. You talk with seriousness about hurting him and then in almost the same breath you give an 'oh well' and then glibly suggest that this could be fodder for a new post.
And it's not the belief that you're doing anything wrong that puts you ill-at-ease. It's simply the idea that he might find out. Again, it's not how a person acts in front of you, but how they act when your back is turned which shows their true character.
The worst part is that my wife and I would probably really like you. She has almost as high of a sex drive as you do and is beautiful. She and I have been swinging for sometime now and it only seems to get better. I think sex outside of marriage is fine so long as everyone is on board and nothing is hidden. But she would be devastated if I did something behind her back. And I would feel the same way.
What most find despicable is that you do this without his knowledge and then wear it like a badge of honor in the blogosphere.
It says you care little or nothing at all for the vow he made or the promises he's kept.
And that is truly a shame...
I found your blog through "Emily's" actually and I'm glad I did. I haven't read everything yet but I'm working on it. I can totally relate. Thakns for writing it. =)
Gracie -- I don't think you have to worry about me pulling back. It is a shame about peoples' need to feel superior, and thus cast moral judgment on others' lives. I'm just going to keep on doing my thing, and as others disapprove, c'est la vie. I'm sure not here to gain favor with moralists.
Pyrhonik -- welcome! I'm happy you've added me to your pick of reads. Hope I can keep fulfilling your desires to hear all about the intricacies of my sex life! :) Enjoy.
Mr. Anonymous -- once again, with the "badge of honor" and "cuckoldry celebration" nonsense. Not only do you truly misunderstand the intended audience for my glib dismissal, but you're really wrapped up with this notion of open honesty always being the best policy. If you had even read any further than a handful of posts before commenting, you'd realize that it was actually my H's request to be left in the dark. Your comments here have illustrated that you believe your system (that happens to work btwn you and your wife) would and should work for all partners who decide to marry. That there's only one right moral path, and only one type of caring relationship -- yours. You are here, commenting on this blog, not as a means for furthering open and honest discussion, but as a means to ridicule and demean. Your proselytising stands out as inane amidst the genuine care and sincerity otherwise found here.
You speak of vows my husband has made and promises he's kept... you have absolutely zero knowledge of these things. You assume our "vows" have the same meaning as yours. *I* don't even speak for my husband, because I would never be so condescending, as to presume that I know what is best for him. So please, stop thinking that you know what is best for us.
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