life goes on

events in life occur and we can fight them, embrace them, or plainly accept them for what they are. events like kisses, like fondles, like hugs, like new friendships and rediscovered old ones. events like losing friends over foolish issues, like losing and finding various loves. events like surprise family-planning and unexpected needs of those near and dear. these things happen and we're constantly sifting through desirable actions and undesirable reactions. we weigh through turbulence and find some balance that we can live with, a temporary harmony that works. at least for now.

most of the time, it doesn't make sense. life just happens, and sometimes we can read rationale into it, but looking at the whole fabric of time and relation, it truly doesn't make sense.

There are times I forget that this blog is but a portion of the whole me. my perception at times is that this adulterous life is the complete me. that all else of the non-Anonyma life falls to the side and the "real" beaming bright life of my self is only Anonyma. these are the times I obsess, check the email, read the blog, write the comments, read the blogs, check the email. these are the times my perspective goes askew and I forget that adultery is generally perceived as wrong and hurtful by the majority of the american population.

but then, life goes on. daily I go to work. daily I eat. daily I engage this physical me who is only Anonyma for such a small percentage of my existence. I currently feel the need to give anonyma.persona a rest, and give homage to a complete rendering of who I am, as faithfully and as sincerely as I can. of course this must remain anonymous, so I will still refrain from details that may give away my identity.

in very short time, my life will be transformed. the change will be momentous, and I will have very little time to frolic the anonyma way. my writing will probably decrease even more than it has already. I will probably be entering a new stage of relationship with H. one that I sense is maturing into something even more special than it already has been. (no, I am not pregnant, no we are not planning on having any kids. period.)

I am saying goodnight and goodbye this evening, to Beauty Eyes -- in my own manner to suit my emotion and well-being. I shall let our reunion slip away gracefully and enter a starry sleep under the frigid winter skies. as short-lived as it was, the fire we shared will burn consistent and bright in who I am today and who I will be tomorrow. and to let it all go actually brings relief. the air I breathe now feels light. Beauty Eyes has shifted to memory. a very fond memory indeed, but the motions have begun nonetheless.

where this blog is headed... more sex... more toys... more sensuality... some more pics (HNT again?)... more links... updated blog format... paying respect to other sex-bloggers... public BETA version... perhaps...