Am I a sexual addict? I suppose that depends on who's the judge of that question. Between my husband and myself, we both agree that masturbation, frequent sex, fantasy play, sexual experimentation (bdsm, etc.), and attending swinger's orgies are all well within the realm of healthy sexual behavior. No harm caused. However, there are individuals out there who feel that any sexual behavior that strays from the kind between a man and a woman who love each other and are married to one another is problematic. It just so happens that the creators of the idea that there is such a condition as sexual addiction falls heavily to the side of those who find these things as atypical, abnormal, and morally troublesome.
Am I an addict for involving myself in a marathon sex act last night? Seven fucking hours, with a quick nap in between. Fucking for seven hours! At a tender age of 23, he's the youngest man I've been with in a long time, and wow does it show. All of the men I've had affairs with, since being married, have been at a minimum of 33 years, ranging upwards to about 40+. (It should come as no surprise that he was yet another coworker who I've now seduced. That brings the count up to 4 fellow workers. This really should stop, as I'm relatively concerned about my reputation. However, I'm probably a bit too trusting that these men will stay silent on the issue.) This one actually feels like a boy-toy. Not sure how I feel about that. He seems to be fine and dandy about it -- and why not? He now has had the opportunity to be involved in an affair with an older, married, exotic, hot chick, whom it seems everyone at work drools over. As for me, I'm not really sure how I feel about having a boy-toy. Not so much that I'm older than he, but I think I'm growing a conscience about using these people as sexual objects. But herein lies the irony: when a subject readily chooses to partake in an objectification of his/her being, then can it still be considered objectification? Much like the master-slave predicament, the power is with the slave, who chooses to relinquish that power for the satisfaction of the master. And if both master and slave are satisfied with the established relationship, then is it not a shared burden on the two? Are they not both responsible for the interbeingness at hand? A master can not exist without her slave, for the very nature of her role. She is wholly dependent upon this other being for her own being. Isn't that truly what treating others as subjects is about?
Whatever the case is, I now have the issue of seeing this man at work. On the one hand, I am pretty delighted with the situation because I get to infuse a bit of excitement to my job where it was beginning to lack. On the other hand, there is so much left to Uncertainty. I barely know the kid, and have no clue as to what his temperament is. Will he cause me trouble? Will he respect my views? Will he understand my marriage issues? Will he even care about this crap? My guess, from what little I do know about him, is that he'll be pretty good at playing it cool, keeping this little secret between us, and continue making me wet my panties while at work. I've found there are generally two distinct personalities that I'm attracted to: one being the cocky, arrogant, fuck-the-world kind of guy, and the other being the quiet, mysterious, introverted and silently rebellious type. (Is that the male version of the ma dona/whore complex?) Is it coincidental that my husband resembles a bit of both, or am I just damned lucky? That's all beside the point. This young man... what shall I call him... he's got an incredibly hot body, smooth features, strong musculature, is tall and thin, and has an enormous cock. Fat, long, straight and hard. Perhaps a tad too large for my petite frame. He reminds me of a boy I had a college affair with long, long ago. I shall call him YoungMan. That will work. YoungMan happens to fall into the category of quiet, mysterious and introverted. So far, I've been able to read my interests well enough to gauge their social intelligence pretty accurately, and from what I've witnessed, YoungMan will do just fine with our little situation. I suppose I'll soon see.
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3 comments:
I'm not sure that it's objectification so much as role-play . . . at least it feels more like role-play to me. You each adopt the persona and the attitudes that you desire, for the sexual gratification that you need, and everyone wins. Well, at least it sounds like both of you did, anyway, lol.
Doesn't it feel that way? You're comfortable in the role of older, married, exotic hot chick, and you've cast him in the role of boy-toy. He may not be comfortable as boy-toy, either . . . and you might not truly be Mrs. Robinson.
Have fun, and let it play out . . . see what happens. It sounds exciting.
XO
Who cares what it is, if your having fun thats all that matters. Do you think a man in the office in a similar situation would worry about his reputation? No, not unless you call not being able to brag, worrying about a reputation. Its a damn shame women like you have to go through life always saying, "I'm not that kind of girl." Its a shame you can not be as open about your sexuality, wants and interests as we men. its a damn shame men like me have to write nameless accounts of our wives cuckolding us. but that is life....so why worry and just have fun. Use him anyway you want...He is not a victim......Thanks for your posts they are wonderful
I have been reading back through your posts and I am fascinated by your perceptions and introspection. My wife and I are in a similiar space only that I know and encourage her sexual exploration. She is not as "advanced" as yourself but she certainly likes to flirt (and more) in the office. What she doesn't offer me is the effort to put into words her motivations, something that I am truely interested in. I'll be back to read your new posts. OK to add you to my blogroll?
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