troubled

what's troubling about affairs is the inherent limitations set forth on the romance of it all. for instance, Beauty Eyes... I've said before that becoming entangled with him would be dangerous for me because there is a distinct possibility that I could fall head over heels for him. and I do believe he could just as easily fall for me. to continue any kind of affair with him would demand that there be an element of romance between us. it's unstoppable and undeniable. the kind of romance that dreams are made of. the kind of romance that I have with H.

I realized today while gazing into my H's eyes that it would be a grave injustice to Beauty Eyes to even put him in that position. knowing what I know, knowing my limits, knowing that the sort of passion we experienced together speaks toward what kind of love affair we would indeed have, it would be amiss for me to say haphazardly that he should allow himself to get involved with me. unlike B, my Buddy who's using me for that booty call as equally as I use him, Beauty Eyes is so much more tender. our connection is so much more tender. how could I in good conscience seduce him, knowing full well that my presence in his life could hold him back from finding the type of lifelong partnership and romance that I have with my H?

on the same note, seduction does not travel in only one direction. we both play just as much of a role as the other in the matter of approaching and allowing the sexual energy to grow between us. we both eye-flirted during the course of our interactions with one another. we both coyly teased one another throughout the evening. so I do not feel so terribly responsible for luring him into my web of naughty secrets.